Want
To Get a Reputation as an Unfair, Arbitrary Critic and Lose All
Credibility With Your Team? Here’s How.
By
John Leonard
1.
Speak
in Absolutes.
“The worst set I’ve ever seen”.
“You NEVER kick hard in practice.” “You
ALWAYS spend 15 minutes in the bathroom on the hard sets”.
“You have been late to practice Forever”.
Just heap as much criticism as possible into one
sentence.
2.
Criticize
not just the issue at hand, but generalize about the person’s background
as why they would act that way in the first place….
“No
one from Churchill High School EVER gets the idea of hard work.”
“All
you 13-14 Girls are too busy being social to swim seriously.”
“That
stupid turn came from another idiot from your same country club and
you’re just coping stupidity.”
Inclusion into a particular sub-group compounds and expands
derision at the same time.
3.
Criticize
the motivation of the creator.
“you’re just doing it so
you can be good in high school.”
“This is just to impress your
parents/girlfriend/boyfriend/teacher/me”
Any sort of “wannabe”
humbling is quite effective.
Criticizing a person’s source
of motivation is an excellent way to
Completely turn them off. Extra
points when you use this one.
4.
Criticize
the tastes and judgment of anyone who does not agree with your criticism.
“Coach Jones said that? Well,
when did he ever place someone at Districts? Heck, those guys never knew
how to swim fly, much less do an IM Turn. Man oh man, you gotta be
kidding me, you’re listening to that stuff? You need to evaluate the
source.”
5.
Make
Threats in Your Criticism.
“If you aren’t going to
work any harder than that, the girls are going to be beating you.”
“well, if you can’t kick faster than that, we’ll have to have
a special kick practice on Saturday evening”. “If you can’t behave
better than that at a swim meet, I’ll have to talk to your Mom”
And a bonus “nasty”……Bring Up the Past – “I talked to you
about this problem LAST summer, and you still haven’t learned? You still
keep doing the same thing? Like your brother, you just never learn. You
still can’t fulfill a promise even to yourself”.
Do these five mean that
you can’t or shouldn’t critique your swimmer, your own organization ?
No, of course not.
One
of my favorite recommendations is “praise in public, criticize in
private”.
Like all recommendations, this one is not true 100% of the time,
but in general, it’s a good rule. So lets add to that by Doing a
positive take on the five above…..
1.
Speak
Specifically. “Joey, on that set, I don’t think you put in as much
effort as you need to, or have previously. That’s not like you. Lets try
again.”
2.
Speak personally. “Mary, most kids I’ve coached from Churchill
HS are very respectful, and I know you want to be that way also, so lets
re-think what you just said and try it again.”
3.
Accept
the person’s motivation, whatever you perceive it to be, and Especially remember that like Plato’s shadow
figures on the cave wall, What you think is someone’s motivation may
very well not be what it really is…we see shadows of other people as
often as we see the whole picture.
4.
Respect
the right of someone to disagree with your assessment as long as you and
they do so respectfully and not rudely. Disagreement is usually the first
step to a deeper understanding.
5.
When
you criticize, make sure you include specifics on how to correct the item
and point out the good things that can come from successfully completing
that skill set, rather than threaten the negative.
Its
not just what we say, but how we say it, that our athletes remember.
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